I actually had the second half of my voice therapy session today, and after some initial nightmarishness with their proprietary system (on Firefox she couldn't see me and on Chrome I couldn't hear her...), she eventually just sent me a Teams link and that worked okay eventually. I asked her to just send our next meeting's link to my work email so I'm less worried about the tech going wrong next time. I still don't know what she got out of seeing me during the voice exercises, except that at one point she told me not to do something as I moved that I wasn't in fact doing.

I turn out to be fantastically bad at some of the basics of these exercizes, which luckily is a fact I could approach with curiosity rather than judgement or negativity toward myself but it is very funny to me.

I also continue to not be judgemental about the pitch of my voice; she said many things to pre-emptively assuage concerns that I didn't turn out to have at all. So it's nice that there are other pitfalls I'm avoiding even as she was visibly surprised at e.g. my inability to hold a hum on one pitch for a whole exhale, heh.

Between this and yoga and The Thing I'm Still Not Writing About and exercise generally, I am thinking a lot more about breathing and moving and how everything in my body is doing, and I am not sure I am coping with this very well. Right now I'm weary of being aware of my body in these ways. But also when I feel myself being too much in my brain or my body I tend to try to lean into the other for a while, and I'm just way too tired to read or write or think much lately. I just feel. And even that, too much.

I had the worst migraine I can remember for a while yesterday evening, only slept four or five hours all night, and got through work today mostly by virtue of it not being a very demanding day. As soon as I turned off my laptop I crawled upstairs and into bed. I dozed a bit but woke up feeling worse. Luckily, the migraine symptoms seemed to depart as suddenly as they'd arrived 24 hours earlier, just in time for me to make a very easy dinner and do a Tesco order to get here tomorrow (and I just remembered, twenty minutes too late to change the order, that I didn't include more burgers to replace the ones I made tonight; what a rookie error!).

I was left with a ton of anxiety (not unusual for me post-migraine) that I'd normally take to the gym and lift some weights about, but my mom said she'd call tonight since I missed her last night with the migraine, so I hung around waiting for that but never heard from her. It felt like such a waste of an evening. I tried to salvage it with sorting out some little things that have been annoying me -- ordering a new phone case because mine's broken, tidying up my work desk the tiniest bit -- but it's been an uncomfortable, unsettling end to an unsatisfying day.